I've Failed (At Failing)

This morning, as I woke to a rather over cast day in (Hurricane Season) sunny Florida, I arose with with gratitude in my heart for the gifts and blessings that are granted to me every day. I said a little mantra of thanks to the universe, and went on my way..

...on my way to bitter folks who didn't get their order right at Starbucks.

... on my way, to frustrated wives, sneaking a cigarette outside on their cell phones bitching about their husbands.

... on my way to angry kids, from northern locations, hollering and screaming that they came ALL THE WAY TO FLORIDA FOR THIS ????? (This being, the grey clouds in the sky and the rain hovering above)

Then I stared to think... WHAT FUN ! Let me join in all this bitching and complaining, so I started my own rantings of "what about this .. what about that .. " I agreed (as usual) with the kids, found compassion with the chick bitching about her husband, and all of a sudden, my coffee was too cold.

Sure enough, as I begin to join them I begin to see everything that is wrong in my life. I begin to see that My career didn't reach the height/goal that I set for myself this year. I still haven't married my partner of 5 years and started the hunt of children which I so desperately want, I see that with all the success I have had, I still didn't make enough money to make me "happy".

On top of it all, as I look in the mirror to size myself up, I put on my once-sexy Gucci bathing suit, and I am all too aware that as my Dad Say's "That dog don't hunt".

Just then a news flash occurs. I remember that one of the most precious of cosmic events is right around the corner, the "Whole-y Day" Rosh Hashana. (Click here for "What is this?')

SMACK !

I am reminded, yet again, of all of the time I have wasted in the last several weeks that has been available to me to maximize the potential of this special day. A special day that insures renewal and rebirth, with the proper intention.

So in all my reactive spirituality, I turn to one of my favorite "energy boosts", www.dailyzohar.com.

Today's offering (click here to be directed to it) uses the example of a cell phone to illustrate a very powerful point. Zion, the site's creator and my friend and teacher, goes on to say:

"Most of us have a cellular phone that helps us communicate with the rest of the world. Only a few know how it works. Never the less we treat it as a magical piece of glass and plastic and with a few touches we can transfer our voice and image to the other side of the world.

Even if we don’t know how it works, we use this device on a daily basis; keep it safe, charged and protected from damaging elements so we can use it again and again.

There are some devices and tools that the Torah (a cosmic blue print - not just a book of stories) recommends us to use. We may not know how they work or what the benefits for our soul are but we should use them the same way we use our cellular phones"

I must point out, I am of the most avid appreciator of my devices! I use my brand new iPhone 4 as if it were an extension of my hand. I rely on this phone as my means to a whole other dimension, which I can not see, taste, touch, smell or hear, but rely on to keep me connected.

This message in the above passage hit me like a ton of bricks. A simple shift in my consciousness allowed me to open my eyes a little further, and see these tools that are around me that I let just sit there. As you read the rest of the Daily Zohar (A tool within itself), day in and day out, you get very clear indications of many of the tools available to us daily. Right here, Right now.

As I began to think about this, I looked outside this huge window I have, upon my view of the majestic Atlantic Ocean, and remembered a "tool" I rarely use. It's called a Mikveh.

A Mikveh is a spiritual bath. With a few simple meditations, you completely (without touching anything) immerse yourself in a large body of water continuously, multiple times, to metaphysically cleanse and remove negativity. We all began our ascent into this world very much the same way, immersed in water and every time we do a Mikveh we get the chance to purify and start over again and with each dunk into the water, we dig a bit further and deeper to cleanse ourself.

Off into the ocean I went.

As I approached her, she seemed even more and more fierce than she looked from my hotel window. Her waves strong and powerful, Her undercurrents like a good mother, pulling me in further, deeper and deeper. I began to meditate, with each emmersion I started to feel the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. At one point the meditation became so intense, I had to take a moment to capture my thoughts and emotions. My head came up out of the water, and SMACK a huge wave hit me in the face, reminding me to go further and deeper.

After a good ten minutes, I collected myself and began to head back to shore. As I walked back to my hotel room, I remembered that at no point is it ever too late to start over.

The only way we truly fail, is by not getting up and trying again.