I haven't been on a "run" since 5th grade Physical Education class. At that time I couldn't make it around the soccer field so Coach Toastie gave me an "F". He said I didn't even try.
I was FAT, it wasn't my fault.
I have never voluntarily "Gone on a Run", not ever on my own free will that is. There was that time in the mid Nineteen-Nineties when I decided that the quickest way to get from the West 100's to 2nd Avenue on the East side was to just go straight through Central Park at eleven o'clock in the evening. When the thugs started preying on me, I went for a run alright. Screaming Jesus' name!
Now, at the ripe ole age of "In My Thirties" I have been given the role of a lifetime. Naturally, I am not in the "body of a lifetime" so after doing some research (online of course) I have found that the most effective way to loose weight is a commitment to a running regime.
So I took to the streets. Here is what I found out.
1) Never, EVER make fun of anyone who is "On A Run". It's horrible karma for those times when you do decide that you too want to take a shot at it.
2) There is a network, an underground, unspoken secret language of runners. It's like when you pass them, they nod their head at you and say "Atta boy"!!!
3) Speaking of "Atta Boy's" When I got to the end of my street and turned a busy corner, there was a sign on the front of someones car "We're proud of you, Daniel" (NO JOKE!)
4) I am an extremist. I like very fast speeds, or walking. No in between. Though I did attempt to skip when not in plain sight, I must admit.
5) Anyone who says the elliptical machine yields a better cardio workout is full of Romney.
6) Make sure you have your Starbucks app downloaded to your iphone. It came in handy when I realized I forgot to take water ... and my wallet.
7) It helps your breathing if you sing very loudly. My favorite track to sing loudly these days is "I'M A SINNER" By none other than, Madonna.
8) Make sure that your earphones fit properly. My ears holes are a bit big so I have to smile really big to keep them in place. Everyone looks at me like I'm Forrest Gump. Kinda fun.
9) Don't let J. Crew Cashmere sweaters hanging in the window distract you from the task at hand. Especially when you are in your shorts and t-shirt and it's a brisk 54 out.
