Jesus Christ Superstar and Fighting Armageddon

I've been thinking about Jesus so much lately.

I know for many of you it's holy week and that is not entirely uncommon. But as I sit here eating Matzot for Passover - Jesus is not regularly at the forefront of my meditations.

Or is he? 

As I child I grew up in the Seventh Day Adventist church. Not so much as a "value" by my parents, but an important way of life for my widowed maternal grandmother. I spent most of my weekends as a child with her, which meant that I went to church with her. Growing up, she taught me how to say my prayers, how to imagine the angels "Encampeth about my home" every night, how NOT to eat pork, and why Sabbath was always and will always be from Friday Night Sundown to Saturday Night Sundown. There were things that I knew in my heart to be true, but there were many others that I was absolutely sure were not "Christ-like" in church. Regardless, all of these things would come in very handy as I began searching for clues in my adult life as to who exactly this Jesus man really was (or might be!)

Many years later, I remember being quite frustrated in my spiritual growth as a Kabbalah student. I don't recall exactly what it was that I was struggling with, but I remember one very powerful message our teacher, Ha' Rav Berg said quoting Rav Ahshlag, (Who was the teacher of his teacher, and the man who foresaw Kabbalah being taught to everyone, Jewish or not, Male or Female)  He said;

"The most important lesson we can take away from the Bible is; 

"Love They Neighbor As Thyself", 

He went on to say,

 "The Rest is Commentary"  

In that moment, I "got" Jesus.

Jesus didn't go around condemning people, or telling people to that his word was the "Law", that if you didn't follow his word, you were to be damned. He didn't preach hate or intolerance, nor did he claim to know right from wrong. What he did was walk the path of the Creator. He felt the pain of everyone in his path and put others needs before his own. This selflessness was what enabled him to heal the sick, to walk on water, and to turn water into wine - Not to prove to anyone that he was G-d Incarnated.

Every single one of his has the power to become like G-d, to do as Jesus did, if we just follow that one golden rule;

"Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself" 

It sounds quite simple doesn't it? It's not.

It's the trick of the ego and Satan to believe that "We've got this down pat".  If we did, the world would not be as it is today. OUR LIVES would not be as they are today. If we did have this down pat, there would be no more Cancer, no more sickness, and really - no more death.

Can you imagine?

I beg of you, today, on Easter, Let's not just IMAGINE. Let's BELIEVE and DO!

Let's take steps toward this divine reality. Do something so far out of your comfort zone to help someone, not JUST for THEM, for YOU! For YOUR soul. Feel that awesome power that is within each of us to unleash the "G-D Gene" to connect to the power of Miracles, as Jesus found so easy to do.

And if that's too insane for you to imagine, simply begin by examining your thoughts. When judgement and criticism towards others arise, simple recognize that this dialogue of hate is not your soul speaking, it's not your true essence, or that "G-D Gene" we're speaking of.

Recognize it, shift it, and do something positive.

Every single moment of the day I fight these thoughts. They are "who" we are, how we have been "programmed" in our upbringing. Few of us walking around today have mastered these thoughts, and together as we strive to evolve, we must not beat ourselves up for them, but simply become aware of them and make the effort to change them, to put others before ourselves.

Think about it, if we are busy in our head thinking about nothing but "all the stuff I have to get done" or "how much longer do I have to put up with this?" or "What the hell is she wearing?" or "My Ex-Husband is scum", How are we becoming like G-D? How are we being "Christ-Like"?

Do we think that Jesus dwelled in these thoughts of negativity?

Kabbalah teaches that this ongoing war in our head is the actual "Armageddon" (In Hebrew the word is agogamagog) the bible is talking of. This is the war that we truly have to fight, non-stop, on a moment to moment basis.

Are you ready for battle? Remember our great spiritual leaders, like Moses and Jesus, Like Mohommed and Buddah. That's why they came to this world, to help us evolve.

Happy Easter and Happy Passover to everyone.

Our Perception; A Mind Made Reality

Have you ever wondered why beauty and taste are so subjective? For example; I have often wondered why Country music makes me cringe while my father can get so excited by it's simple twang and cliche lyrics. Or why, I get so excited by fashion and my partner poo-poos the bulk of it with his blanket "I Don't Get It" Responses.

Watch this amazing clip Deepak Chopra delivers about the subject of perception;

According to science and spirituality, all that we experience is according to our own perception of reality and that perception is entangled within past experiences. While there are a million and one ways we could expand on this amazing subject, something really profound (As I perceive it to be) stuck with me and has continued to fuel my thoughts since seeing this post over a week ago;

Judgement 

So if in fact, everything, is based on ones own perceptions and experiences, why do we find it so easy to assault another persons point of view?  Why do I walk down the street and think "That outfit on that woman is hideous" while she herself struts confidently, owning her prowess of style? 

Or,  this one for example. Yesterday I was in one of my favorite perfumeries, having a look to see what new fragrances they had lined up for spring. As my friend showed me a few, she went to pick up a particular one and said "This one is not one of the best, nobody seems to like it" 

One whiff and I was hooked. I Loved it! Told her that I wanted it and that I thought it smelled great on me. The look on her face was of horror. But she resounded firmly;

"To Each Their Own"

I love that line.

This exchange probed me to think about how often I critscize others for their taste. How easy it is to pass judgment on the people, places and things. But according to this episode of "Down The Rabbit Hole"  - It's my consciousness that creates this reality!

What to do next? Since this is heavily on my mind lately,  I am hyper aware of when I decide to say "I Don't Like ... " Or even "Wow, I love ... " For me, so much of what I like or not is black and white. If I like something, I Love it, if I don't like it - I LOATHE IT!

Do you have this issue as well? For the next forty day's let's commit to dabbling in the gray area. We can use the trigger of these "Love or Loathe" moments to remind ourselves that its simply our perception that is creating this reality. Not the person, place or experience itself, but us.

The next time I decide that I am not going to let someone off the hook for their bad taste, I will switch my consciousness to remember; 

"To Each Their Own"

And hopefully, you'll let me off the hook for my poor grammar.  :) 

Idolotry

Every morning when I wake up, I thank God for coffee. I also thank God for my partner sleeping next to me.

Then I get dressed, douce myself in my Eau de Jour, take a good look in the mirror, and say "I look __________!" (Insert pridefull or self depreciating emotion here) Which is really key, as it effects the following moments.

Then I put on my comfy shoes and my coat, and Thank God that I am dry and warm.

As  I ride the subway to whatever location I happen to be working at I begin wonder what I might be getting myself into for the day; How long will my work last? What might be waiting for me for breakfast, lunch and/or dinner, which is usually (most always) followed by a resounding
"I'm getting fat" which leads me to amp down my daily calorie allowance for the day and plan my next juice cleanse- after all I am going to The Mayan Riviera next week, and you know what that means! I need a new bathing suit. Speaking of Suit, can I just tell you how much I love Justin Timberlake's "Suit and Tie" video! I wanna live in that world! Ahh ...

It's a wonder I ever managed to make it to my Kabbalah class last night.

And thank God I did, because this is what I learned;

Eitan cleared a few things up for me which I intend to share with you here.  Have you Ever thought about that story in the bible, the one about the Golden Calf? If not the story goes a little like this; Moses went up the mountain (SINAI!) to fetch some immortality. Meanwhile down at the other end of the mountain, the rest of us got a little bored. So, we made a golden calf - a statue of a baby cow, made of gold and diamonds that we hawked off all our Women...  Then we decided it was so incredible that we wanted to worship it. After all, who needs a god who you can't SEE! Consequently, we chose to do all this nonsense just 18 hours short of the fortieth day Moses would return to us, with the real treat. But NOOOOO we had to have it NOW! So what happened to that little treat Moses brought back down with him?  We lost it.



Sound familiar?

But what does it have to do with Me, My Coffee, My Partner, My Cologne, My Clothes, What I eat (or not eat!), with me looking fab or flat, My Job .. MY TRIP TO CANCUN ...  OR MY KABBALAH?????

"Everything" Eitan said. 

If I've ever said "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT...." any of those physical things listed above, or anywhere else in my life;

 I am worshiping the modern golden calf.

When we attach ourselves to anything but the energy that is the Light of the Creator (God,  The Universe, or whatever else you want to call it) we immediately limit our capacity to receive all that that energy wants to share with us. When we say "I WANT IT NOW" without being patient and waiting for the process to unfold, we are worshiping the golden calf.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you "put all your eggs in one basket", so to speak? Meaning, you feared that if anything ever happened, you would loose everything? Where you became so co-dependant on that relationship (no matter how great or how bad it is!) that the THOUGHT of ruffling the other persons feathers for fear of their reaction, immobilized you to do or say nothing?

That too is worshiping the modern Golden Calf. 

So what's so bad about worshiping the Golden Calf anyway? If I am, then ... what's happening, am I going to HELL?

No. But we aren't living in Heaven either, no matter how great we think it is. The Universe (G-d, Light .. etc) Want's us to have EVERYTHING. 

Do you understand the capacity of that word? Let me spell it out for you ....

E   V   E   R   Y    T    H    I    N   G 

Which ironically includes all of that physical stuff too; like your Soul Mate, your perfect job, more money than you know what do with. It also includes more than you can ever imagine, because even your imagination is limited. 

So whats the solution? 

Be aware, Lets start there. That's all. Ask yourself when go to do something out of habit or routine WHY you are doing it? 

Change it up. Do something different, let go of the old and allow yourself to be welcomed by what the Universe reveals to you. And if you think you can't do that ... Start Small, I mean ... really small. Like instead of brushing your teeth first thing in the morning, take a shower first, or take an extra few moments to snuggle your loved one. Take a different route to work, for once take the long way - instead of the short- See what happens. You might just meet the business partner you have been searching for, or run into an old friend from high school you've been thinking about. Anything is possible, but WE have to be open to it.

Lets see what happens! Rome wasn't built in a day ...  and I am surely not ready to give up my coffee yet either!

All Adventurous Women Do #GIRLS

I know, I'm a little late for the party bus that is the HBO phenom, GIRLS.

Really, If you are as well then I suggest having a seat in front of your flat screen, making yourself a triple espresso and carving a comfy place on your couch. Watch one, you'll watch five (or more). It's brilliant.

As each episode's end credits roll, and Lena Dunham's name passes by as "Writer", "Director", and "Executive Producer" (Not to mention she plays the starring role, Hannah), I long for the next installment. I also long to know "Why exactly do I love it so much?"

The late '90s and Mid '00's were my "GIRLS" time. When finding a job in my chosen field seemed as impossible as anything other than settling for being a waiter, or worse a sales guy at the GAP. When "Sex" was something EVERYONE was doing (Except Me!) and when crabs became  the oft price to pay for such an "Adventurous" life. I just read where HPV has replaced crabs as the "go-to" STD for "Adventurous" people. (See title of this post, and credit Lena Dunham for it's cache!)

Things really haven't changed much, except for the advent of such things as twitter and picture-phone messaging to flirt with the guy across the room, to send an SOS out into the world for, what we USED to call, a "Booty Call".

But GIRLS, is not just about SEX. It's about being a GIRL. It's about looking for love in all the wrong places, finding it and then being too afraid to break up with him because he is too nice - even though you cringe when he kisses you. It's about having a boyfriend, just because he is hot, thinks you're hot - even though you look in the mirror and see a fat pig. It's about being okay with being sexually harassed by your boss a) because you need the job and b) he really is a "nice" guy! It's also about having your journal read out loud onstage by your roommates boyfriend, accompanied by his wretched band telling the world how much you really hate him and how she should break up with him.... just having your journal read by someone other than you, behind your back. That's Typical.

In the summer of 1998, my friends started talking about this new show that had premiered on HBO about being a single woman in Manhattan. They raved on about how brilliant it was, so much so that each one of them had assumed one of the characters as the archetype that fit their own. We would be at dinner and they would say to me "You're so Carrie Bradshaw" and another would argue ... oh no .. he is DEFINITELY CHARLOTTE... CHARLOTTE ALL THE WAY. I looked at them all like idiots. I didn't even own a TV then, much less have HBO. When I met my partner in 2005, he too, was "Mostly Miranda" and because of my love for him, I sat down to watch this show. I had the same exact knee-jerk reaction that I did with Girls.

"GIRLS" has become the "SEX IN THE CITY" of today. I am very thankful that I am not ten years late to this party. I guess the older I get, the cooler I get, which would make me TOTES "MARNI", because I have grown up from being ole' boring Charlotte!

Catch it Sunday's at 9pm on HBO.

From the Well, I Write

Sunday's are very special for me. Not because I go to church, or spend the day getting drunk brunching with friends. Sunday is the day that I spend with about 20 of the most amazing kids I have ever met. For the last several years I have had the merit to teach a program called "Kabbalah For Kids". Yes, you heard that right, Kabbalah for Kids.

In this semester we formulated a curriculum implementing the lessons of Kabbalah with a simple concept; The Map.
We taught them that, LIFE ... is just like a Map. You have to know where you are (point A) to know where you want to go (point B). Only by looking within and taking inventory of our lives here and now can we determine how we are every going to achieve that which we really want in the future.

In the class we inspire kids to dream big and to imagine what their "perfect" life will be like. What life would be like if the "had it all" and if they were successful at the career that they had chosen to pursue as adults. I know what you are thinking;

"Are 10 year old's really attune to what they want to be when they grow up?"

Yes, they are. "Grow up" is the relative term here. Some of them are more grown up than many adults I know, other look to making it through fourth grade as "Growing Up". You would be surprised at how well they know what they want. For example: I have the student who wants to be the next JK ROWLING and continue the Harry Potter series (and also star as Harry, himself in the movie versions of his novels!!!) but I also have kids who understand that they simply just want to be happier, or to be less jealous of their sibling, or over come being shy.

Trust me. They KNOW what they want. 

One particular child inspired me to write this post, and god willing, set off a maelstrom of creativity within me; Here is why... 

One week, I had the opportunity to meet with every student one on one. I wanted to sit down with them, give them my undivided attention, and see what was on their mind. At the conclusion of the meeting, we formulated a map, so to speak, that highlighted some goals, both immediate and long term, that they wanted to achieve. This child and I have known each other for many years. She has been in my class since she was about five years old, in some capacity or another (She is about to turn 10). Her parents are certainly role models, not only as parents, but as individuals in and outside of their community. They are unrelenting in giving their children what they need to be the best versions of themselves. When I asked this particular child what she aspired to, she said simply and affirmatively "I want to be like you". I inquired how;

 "I want to be a writer and an actor" She said. She continued ...

 "Actually, I want to write most of all and I know that you write, alot.  Poetry and stories and stuff. And I know you are a famous actor, well almost famous. You will be I know it. I tell all my friends I know a famous actor...And I really want to teach kids too, OH ... and do computers, like my Dad" 

I realized right then and there that she was definitely a messenger to me in that moment. I needed to write more for the world to see. I go through waves of keeping things in my journal or my diary and not sharing too much online. Then there is the Pilot script I am working on, and the Feature Film script as well. All those things seem to take precedence lately. I guess because I envision their rewards as being much greater than simply bogging about my life - or writing poetry (my true love). I also get hung up on "What" exactly I can write about. I always judge weather or not what I will write will have any impact on anyone or that really anyone cares.

Who cares? Just Write! Here's to a new chapter in sharing my life and all that I love.

XXOO DBT
 

Running 101

Today I went for a Run.

I haven't been on a "run" since 5th grade Physical Education class. At that time I couldn't make it around the soccer field so Coach Toastie gave me an "F". He said I didn't even try.

I was FAT, it wasn't my fault.

I have never voluntarily "Gone on a Run", not ever on my own free will that is. There was that time in the mid Nineteen-Nineties when I decided that the quickest way to get from the West 100's to 2nd Avenue on the East side was to just go straight through Central Park at eleven o'clock in the evening. When the thugs started preying on me, I went for a run alright. Screaming Jesus' name!

Now, at the ripe ole age of "In My Thirties" I have been given the role of a lifetime. Naturally, I am not in the "body of a lifetime" so after doing some research (online of course) I have found that the most effective way to loose weight is a commitment to a running regime.

So I took to the streets. Here is what I found out.

1) Never, EVER make fun of anyone who is "On A Run". It's horrible karma for those times when you do decide that you too want to take a shot at it.

2) There is a network, an underground, unspoken secret language of runners. It's like when you pass them, they nod their head at you and say "Atta boy"!!!

3) Speaking of "Atta Boy's" When I got to the end of my street and turned a busy corner, there was a sign on the front of someones car "We're proud of you, Daniel" (NO JOKE!)

4) I am an extremist. I like very fast speeds, or walking. No in between. Though I did attempt to skip when not in plain sight, I must admit.

5) Anyone who says the elliptical machine yields a better cardio workout is full of Romney.

6) Make sure you have your Starbucks app downloaded to your iphone. It came in handy when I realized I forgot to take water ... and my wallet.

7) It helps your breathing if you sing very loudly. My favorite track to sing loudly these days is "I'M A SINNER" By none other than, Madonna.

8) Make sure that your earphones fit properly. My ears holes are a bit big so I have to smile really big to keep them in place. Everyone looks at me like I'm Forrest Gump. Kinda fun.

9) Don't let J. Crew Cashmere sweaters hanging in the window distract you from the task at hand. Especially when you are in your shorts and t-shirt and it's a brisk 54 out.

10) Make a promise to yourself that you will give it one more shot tomorrow.

The Magic of Seven

Seven years ago to the hour I woke up from a restless night, tossing and turning, completely certain about  ... my eternal bachelor-hood. At the time I was working on a film that was being directed by and staring My onscreen hero, Mr. Robert DeNiro. It was a dream come true. My professional future was set, I was trading fame for love.

It was also the day that I was to become a real star. Little did I know.

For several months I had been casually chatting with a handsome stranger over the interweb of mysteries and wonders. Several years my senior, and incredibly brilliant, I was always entranced by his multidimensional intellect and creative wit. But, like history had proven, anyone can hide behind a computer screen and a keyboard, so I kept my reservations at the table called, Solo.

On August 15, 2005 we decided to meet for the first time and share a drink. At the time he was a newcomer to Manhattan so I challenged him to pick a place for us to meet. (This would help me assess his taste level!) I told him, if we are feeling "it",  I will have reservations ready for dinner at a special place I had always reserved in my heart for "THE ONE". But ... No pressure over cappuccino. We agreed that if we weren't feeling "IT", we would be honest and polite and continue on our marry way.

That evening, I showed up to meet my beautiful stranger. I sat across the street observing his behavior for a few minutes before revealing myself to him. It was charming how he shifted uneasily from position to position, trying to figure out which post to lean against to "look cool". As I approached him he was drenched in sweat and his pink shirt dutifully unpressed, yet perfectly unbuttoned to his heart, revealing his manly muscled chest. I quickly forgave the wrinkles.

We occupied a quiet corner in the lounge, chatting away about what you would chat on, on well ... A first date? I teased him that I never get embarrassed. He assured me, if I stuck around, he would see to it, that I could never use that line again. Whew. JUST what I was always looking for ! Towards what would seem the end of our night, I excused myself to the bathroom. I sent off a quick text to my friends telling them I would meet them out in an hour, and I casually slipped the waitress my credit card as to not make much fuss on the exit, and to thank him for a lovely time. His body language alone indicated that this was not going any further.

As I went back to the table, he clocked me on my stealthiness to pay the check, as I had beaten him to the punch. We spoke about other cool places to go to in New York and then there was a moment of dead air:

"Well, it's 7:45 and our dinner reservations are at 8:15" I said.
"I can cancel them if you'd like, or we can continue on" absolutely sure he would opt for the former.

"I'd love to" he said.
"That is ... if you would have me" treading with caution.

Immediately the mood shifted. It was official, I was not going to be the one left hanging on this date. Not going to be another casualty of the "Well that went EXACTLY as I thought it would" train I had been used to riding on.

Dinner at 'Il Bucco" was magical. Just like I always imagined it would be. We shared a bottle of wine (Coppola Claret!) and really began to reveal our true selves to each other. At the end of the night, I walked him to the subway station before I jumped in a cab uptown. It was there, on Prince and Broadway, in front of the Prada store that we kissed for the first time. I was officially hooked.

The seven years ahead were every bit as thrilling at those first few hours. He opened my heart to love and gave me a passport to the world both literally and spiritually. With every day that I wake up with him by my side, I know for a fact that whatever the day holds, challenges or cheer, it's all mute when it boils down to it, because I have the greatest blessing that God could have ever given to me.

We have been through Five different version of the iPhone, two presidential elections, the birth of our two beautiful nephews, AND witnessed the legalization of gay marriage in this great town we call home. We have been buff, we have been fat, we have been in the hospital, we have sunbathed in South America on New Years Day. We have fought about stupid shit, and neglected the important stuff. We've dealt with real life, and we have emerged stronger than ever.

As we celebrate seven years together I look back on all that I have learned. Being in a relationship is hard work. Sharing your life with someone makes you see everything that's selfish about you,  how every little choice that you make effects the other. Sharing your life with someone ALSO allows you to see your own beauty and your strengths you may have never seen before. It turns the microscope on you and how you show up in your own life. As our Kabbalah teacher Karen Berg once shared with us, our success is solely dependent on turning the "ME" upside down, Making it "WE". A relationship demands it.

To the most incredible blessing God has ever bestowed upon me, My other half,  My partner for life, Ted,
I am humbled to walk with you on this path called life. I pray that the Light of the Creator has in store for us, many, many, more cycles of seven. Maybe even with seven dwellings in seven different lands, with seven children enlightening us with their wisdom, with the abundance to write seven-figure checks to help make the world a better place, the wisdom to write seven different books to inspire the information age with and most importantly seven lights illuminating brightly from our soul - eternally.

Thank you for making me the star in your life,

Forever, Your boy.