Old Sparks, New Flames

Thursday evening was quite surreal for me.

As anticipated, I met my dear friends William and Tommy to catch up and socialize. Nothing major.

William suggested a place, now owned by a friend of his, called "The Hourglass Tavern", located on 46th Street and 9th Ave.

I knew it well as I, once upon a time, lived above the restaurant.

As a general rule of late, I have stayed away from that particular part of town. Perhaps because it reminds me of a me that doesn't serve remembering. But I can tell you one reason why, is because of a certain embarrassment I anticipated feeling if I were ever to run into the buildings owners, Chris and Tina, ever again.

You see, I moved into that apartment when I was 20 years old. Quite fresh to New York, apt 4E was my first real home. At the time I was working at the Olive Garden in Times Square serving tables and one day met a girl called Aphrodite. She was a special soul, as the name indicates. Outspoken, a bit brash at times, very voluptuous, very pretty... and Greek. When I told her of my current living situation, which was a notch down from "livable", She told me how her "Aunt & Uncle" owned a little restaurant and an apartment building on the corner of 9th Ave & 46th St. Aphie said she thought that they might have a vacant apartment that I might be able to stay in for a while until I found a more permanent home.

God bless the Goddess, Aphrodite. She made it happen.

I met Chris and Tina shortly thereafter and we hit it off famously. Their very broken English and my acting ability to imitate it made for comedy one can not put on a stage. There was something about our connection that felt like family. The next day Tina showed me to my new apartment. She told me that they had been using it for storage for a very long time and that I could do anything I wanted to it, as to make it more my own. There were a few pieces of furniture, including a dining room table and a beautiful antique armour. But other than these little acompanyments the place needed LOADS of work.

In a hurry that day I dropped my bags and changed for work, NOT spending too much time surveying my new piece of land.

I got home from the OG (olive garden) late that evening. As I opened the door to my new home and turned on the lights, a scurry of mice flew into their lofty little corners. I screamed bloody murder. So much for my cute little idea of popping down my sleeping bag and calling it a night. Always one of re-invention, I pulled out my McGuyver skills and decided that the best place for me to sleep was on the dining room table. At least the mice could not get me there and it would serve its needs well, as I was not having any guest over anytime soon!

Then... I walked into the "Kitchen". What I found was mortifying to thine eyes. Low and behold, the "Kitchen" consisted of a small sink, and to the left of it - a stove. And to the left of the stove, a refrigerator. On the OTHER side of the sink, perched next to the window was ... A bathtub. Hmmm ... I thought. Interesting. At the far end of the "Kitchen" was a closet. I opened up the closet and low and behold ... A toilet ! Nothing else. I mean, thank GOD the toilet was at least separate.... but where was the shower????

As it was, I was conjuring up delicious Gemini ideas about taking a tub while frying eggs at the same time one one of those hung over mornings!

As my day's progressed there in that little abode I made 4E home. My parents came to visit me regularly, usually for Thanksgiving which we always had at the Hourglass. Every time they left Tina would tell my Mom "I am watching him for you, don't worry". My Mom left quite an impression on Tina, and vice versa. Mother to Mother.

My Ego and I became a little too comfortable for our own good. I soon began to take in any stray friend who needed a home, some of them lasting months at a time and even one particular guest that lasted several years. On 9/11 my house became the midtown bunker. There were a multitude of folk shacking up at the Casa del Bobby. The biggest problem was not that I felt the need to play Ms. Hanagin, but that I did it with only my best interest in mind. "Making the most" out of life to me was partying like a rock star. The more ... the merrier.

It's the "taking in the strays" that did me in, I think. I've always had a problem saying NO. Especially to people who I want love and attention from. In doing so, I went months without paying my rent at times (and it should be noted that the rent for my ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT in MIDTOWN was $675 a month) and had parties that lasted days. We cranked the noise levels repeatedly and, in an attempt at ART, painted one entire wall Black only to hang a solid white canvas in the center of it.

I was, aptly put, - A mess.

But here's the kicker. Never once did Chris and Tina ever "demand" rent from me. They always trusted that they would get it, eventually. And they did. Never once did they ever come upstairs complaining about my guests or my parties, or my noise, or my art. Never. In 7 years rarely was the door to their second floor apartment ever even closed. There was always some kind of beautiful smell emerging, coupled with a Marlboro. Whenever they saw me coming, they always offered me a seat at their table. Regardless how far behind I was in my rent.

In 2003, I moved to Los Angeles to escape my party life style. I left behind subject A - the roommate that never left - in hopes that he would keep up the place and pay the rent with respect.

A year later, I returned for a visit. Chris told me about stuff that went on, and how it was "my apartment" and nobody else's. If I chose to return to LA, which I was, I was going to have to relinquish 4E back to them.

I did so, with great sadness. I thought I'd (and wanted to) have that place forever. Upon moving out, I was left with the mess of moving out the old roommates too. What a way to pick up ones karmic baggage, I was convinced.

I was so ashamed of myself then. I was sad that I had let them down, that I had not given to them what they had always given to me.

On Thursday night when William asked me to meet him there, I was so scared and nervous. I was ashamed of running into them again. What would I say? How could I apologize for being so insensitive in my actions all those years.

I arrived to a completely new Hourglass Tavern. Chris was no longer running the restaurant and had sold the business to another lovely couple who really kept the old spirit alive, but who ended up adding a new twist to this restaurant row staple.

Chris and Tina were no where to be seen. Now I was worried what happened to them. One of the servers who used to work as a server in the restaurant was still working there. Maria is her name. Maria is and has always been close to the family. Like a niece I think. I saw her and she did not recognize me at first. In that moment she was a little cold and it fed every insecurity that I had as per the above.

We left the bar there to go to another bar but decided to eventually go back. When I got back, Chris and Tina were there, sitting out front of the restaurant, as they always did. Sitting there saying hello to the neighbors and regulars with the biggest smile from ear to ear always. They were always like the mayors of Hells Kitchen. As I turned the corner, our eyes met. They both jumped out of their seat "BOBBY" she said "Zeiboogie" he said (don't ask me what that mean's but it was always the name Chris called me). " Is this really you? Where have you been?" "We miss you so much" and they began to cry. As their tears fell, so did mine. They both embraced me and caught me up on the last 6 years. "You need...anything let us know" When they found out that I had been living in the city, they were very upset.

"Why haven't you come to see us?"

"We love you, you are like family to us"

I promised to do so now. We exchanged numbers, took a few pictures and laughed until we were blue in the face.

It was a moment in which my heart was healed.

We walk around our experience everyday with these little bubbles of energy attached to us, based on our limited perception. When we confront demons from our past we somehow metaphysically manage to remove one of those bubbles. Instantly we become lighter.

I wish to have these experiences daily. After this ONE, I felt like this bubble that I had burdened myself with weighed a thousand pounds.