Something started to set in for me.
Not sure what to call it, because it is so out of my element that I am having a hard time identifying its name!
Anxiety? Depression?
Whatever it is, it's been eating me up, and It's created a blockage that I feel might have been worked through today.
This morning, I woke up in a crap mood. I had no desire to do anything but bitch and complain. Thank God I had the foresight to go directly to the Zohar. I did some reflection and study and then I turned to My Kindle, to kill some time as I waited for my next Yoga class to begin.
I've been reading an amazing book called "The Vortex" by Esther and Jerry Hicks about the power of relationships and how you attract (or detract) them and the personal responsability that each of us has in the creating and maintaining them. Today as I pieced through the pages, true to the form of Abraham (the Non-Physical being that channels through Esther), what I attracted were the answers I needed to create a shift in my consciousness.
Here's the deal; I have kept too much inside. In doing so, I have not been showing up honestly and truthfully. If that is how I am showing up, then that's how those around me are showing up.
Simply stated, right? In essence.
Recently, I have felt a bit like a tiger in a cage. Needing to jump out and roam the great jungle alone in search of something.
That statement alone can throw someone you love into a frenzy. It implies that you are about to make some brash decision that will leave them and everything else in the dust. I am hyper aware of the "Delivery" in my communication. Sometimes it stings, and I don't mean it to. Therefore, I keep it in, until the pressure cooker explodes.
And sometimes, it doesn't.
When it doesn't, it opens the door for understanding and compassion.
That's what happened to me today.
As I communicated honestly my fears and anxieties with my loved one, my loved one responded with compassion and love.
As I went about the rest of my day, more answers came.
I have this special "Place" I love to go to when I want to be alone. It's called The HousingWorks (housingworks.org) Book Shop and cafe. It has such a beautiful energy and it reminds me of the library of a townhouse. I sat down and I began to write and open my heart to my guides. They directed me to my favorite author; Paulo Coelho.
His books were aligned right behind me and "just for kicks" I opened up my two favorites selections at random. These were the messages;
1) Brida - "I need to take risks. I need to feel the fear of failing"
2) The Alchemist (My favorite book ever) - "You must understand that love never keeps a man from his personal legend. If he abandons that pursuit it's because it wasn't true love...the love that speaks the language of the world."
These messages speak volumes to me and I will remind myself of them daily through any challenge that I am faced with.
I share them with you, in hopes that they will help you too.
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